I just pretty much agree with all of this.:-) I've always thought with Harry that it's always been important in his experience at the Dursleys that he had these fantasy parents to hold on to. He's like the classic fairy tale kid whose parents are firmly split down the middle into the bad ones he doesn't like and the good ones he loves. When the Dursleys are mean to him, they aren't his real family--his real family would love him, and yet not in the damaging way Dudley is loved. Similarly with the Weasleys he can see the good but when he thinks anything bad they're not his family.
I just feel like Harry has very little experience being truly angry at people he loves. Even with Sirius it's more the potential of family than the real thing--Harry's feelings about him are, to me, always very impersonal, more about him reacting to the idea of Sirius than the man himself because they just don't spend that much time together at all. They're still in the tentative stages of getting to know each other when Sirius died.
I said above that Harry, Draco and Neville are the three kids tied into the main story through their parents in ways the others aren't, and Draco and Neville, I think, are both affected by parents being aware of that. Augusta seems to sort of express her love and pride about her son to Neville by saying how great he was, but then always make clear that he is not like that, in case he's thinking of putting himself in danger the same way. It's sort of like saying that he should just let his father take that role and be something else.
Similarly, Lucius has filled Draco's head with ideas about how great the Dark Lord is and so how great he was to have helped him, but we also over and over hear Draco frustrated that he's not wanting Draco's help himself. Draco's thrown into things the same way Neville and Harry are in a way--when his father is removed. For those two boys especially growing up seems tied to getting involved in the fight, with Gran and Narcissa trying to keep them out of it. Both Neville and Draco to me seem aware that this is something they have to do to be their own man; it's not just wanting revenge or whatever. Same with Harry, actually, at this point.
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I just feel like Harry has very little experience being truly angry at people he loves. Even with Sirius it's more the potential of family than the real thing--Harry's feelings about him are, to me, always very impersonal, more about him reacting to the idea of Sirius than the man himself because they just don't spend that much time together at all. They're still in the tentative stages of getting to know each other when Sirius died.
I said above that Harry, Draco and Neville are the three kids tied into the main story through their parents in ways the others aren't, and Draco and Neville, I think, are both affected by parents being aware of that. Augusta seems to sort of express her love and pride about her son to Neville by saying how great he was, but then always make clear that he is not like that, in case he's thinking of putting himself in danger the same way. It's sort of like saying that he should just let his father take that role and be something else.
Similarly, Lucius has filled Draco's head with ideas about how great the Dark Lord is and so how great he was to have helped him, but we also over and over hear Draco frustrated that he's not wanting Draco's help himself. Draco's thrown into things the same way Neville and Harry are in a way--when his father is removed. For those two boys especially growing up seems tied to getting involved in the fight, with Gran and Narcissa trying to keep them out of it. Both Neville and Draco to me seem aware that this is something they have to do to be their own man; it's not just wanting revenge or whatever. Same with Harry, actually, at this point.