the three characters in HP canon who get the most focused on Harry's special treatment are all characters with issues about themselves not being special--or worse. It's not about Harry, really--Harry could be carried to class by Veelas every day and it wouldn't bother them as much if they were happy in themselves, but as it is they just can't not let it bother them.
Not sure if I agree that "it's not about Harry" – that suggests that if someone else were in his position, they'd be hating on that someone else just the same as they've been known to hate on Harry. Which, depending on the personality and skills of that someone else, might not be the case. We'll never know, because it's NOT "Someone Else and the..." – It's Harry Potter, with his personality, skill set and privilege. (And Harry makes his privilege over each of these fellows very painfully obvious, with the subconscious conflation that because he has more privilege, he is therefore BETTER than they are.)
It's true that if Ron, Draco and Severus were more okay with who they were, they'd be better equipped to deal with Harry and HIS flaws. They aren't, and they get pilloried for this because they don't share in the privilege he gets as the Boy Who Lived/Savior of the Wizarding World/main character of the book series. To be fair, that privilege puts Harry in some very fucked-up situations that Ron and Draco are certainly better off for not being in (The Tri-Wizarding Tournament, for example).
Severus is a different matter. Clearly he's already been through some fucked-up situations in his life, much of which has shaped his current personality and perspective. He's living the consequences of his choices, while Ron & Draco are at an age where those choices have to be made. He knows from experience that how things seem are not what they really are – he himself being a perfect example.
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Not sure if I agree that "it's not about Harry" – that suggests that if someone else were in his position, they'd be hating on that someone else just the same as they've been known to hate on Harry. Which, depending on the personality and skills of that someone else, might not be the case. We'll never know, because it's NOT "Someone Else and the..." – It's Harry Potter, with his personality, skill set and privilege. (And Harry makes his privilege over each of these fellows very painfully obvious, with the subconscious conflation that because he has more privilege, he is therefore BETTER than they are.)
It's true that if Ron, Draco and Severus were more okay with who they were, they'd be better equipped to deal with Harry and HIS flaws. They aren't, and they get pilloried for this because they don't share in the privilege he gets as the Boy Who Lived/Savior of the Wizarding World/main character of the book series. To be fair, that privilege puts Harry in some very fucked-up situations that Ron and Draco are certainly better off for not being in (The Tri-Wizarding Tournament, for example).
Severus is a different matter. Clearly he's already been through some fucked-up situations in his life, much of which has shaped his current personality and perspective. He's living the consequences of his choices, while Ron & Draco are at an age where those choices have to be made. He knows from experience that how things seem are not what they really are – he himself being a perfect example.