That's my understanding of it too. If you're in love with somebody but never touch them, that's fine. You're just suspicious because you might be touching them and lying about it. If you're having sex with a person you barely know then that's really bad. I think it really is about the sex, the gender roles...all sorts of stuff coming together there. It sounds sweet to say they're just "afraid of love" but really no, the "ick" factor of the sex is more than just an afterthought. That's why they'd cry out how terrible it is for somebody to think two men couldn't love each other without being gay. The gay sullies the love.