It sounds sweet to say they're just "afraid of love" but really no, the "ick" factor of the sex is more than just an afterthought. That's why they'd cry out how terrible it is for somebody to think two men couldn't love each other without being gay. The gay sullies the love.

Exactly. That's why intense homophobia often co-exists with celebration of intense love and even physical camaraderie between males--so long as that love is never, ever tinged with sexuality.