That's why I mentioned two girls 'pairing off' outside the system, which is something I'm familiar with :)

Are you referring to Katara and Toph?
If so, I recall their initial meetings as two queens without a hive. Katara attempting to dominate Toph by telling her how to teach Aang. Toph establishing herself, rightfully, as the queen of Earth.

I suppose Aang with his feminine energy could be the hive of one, the lone worker bee, swarming from one queen to the next based on his needs.

It is true that neither Katara nor Toph dominated the other, but at least one of them tried.