That was wonderful! As strange as it sounds, I really *imagine* speaking another language the way you describe, where it's hard to put your personality across and that's so frustrating to me. Two examples I can think of, for instance. One was in high school when I had to give an oral report in French. Usually I've got no problem speaking in front of people, but the first time I tried it I just looked out and felt like nobody was getting a word I was saying and it must be so damn boring for them listen to be talk about nothing and I got so upset I fainted. I still remember this girl Heidi in the front row telling me how I just suddenly sort of looked up and was kind of green and passed out. V. embarassing. The next time I used some visual aids and got through it.

The other time was once doing an immersion weekend. They'd put me in a level that was really too high because I do better on written French, so I was the stupidest person in the group.:-) I was so frustrated all weekend not being able to really take part in conversations (as you can tell from my lj, I like to participate in conversations...). Then sometimes when the instructor would try to help me he couldn't because what I was trying to say just made no sense to him. Like, it was more than just the words, it was just I think he didn't get me either. I will always remember him asking us about food and he was asking me if I liked mushrooms. So I said I had never eaten mushrooms because I was afraid of them. It just happened that this was the true answer, but as I'm trying to say in French, "I am afraid of them because the King of the Elephants in Babar died from eating a bad mushroom and he was healthy in one picture and wrinkled and green in the next and so I never wanted to try them and anyway they seem gross."

I think I got about as far as, "Le roi des elephants...? (if that's even correct--it's been a while) before the guy was looking at me like I was crazy. Such a stressful weekend. Made my skin break out something terrible.