The Truth Hurts

[sistermagpie]

roxannelinton made the mistake of pointing me to an Elkins essay on HP4GU. Naturally this got me stuck reading other essays because they were all so good. One in particular was close to my heart, about *why* exactly we like the characters that we do, and it brought up the fact that we usually naturally associate fictional types with people we know in real life, and our reactions to the RL people naturally influence that. I was going to think about the characters I like and think about who they remind me of (Snape totally reminds me of the teachers in school that were feared and hated but *I* always wound up getting along with and liking a great deal), but in the course of thinking about this I wound up having a big personal revelation about Draco and me. It's long because it's about ME ME ME.



Elkins essay was in response to the twins, whom she considers bullies and doesn't like. But she made the important distinction that the fact that they were bullies wasn't why she disliked them, and she did not think other people should dislike them because she did. She disliked them because they reminded her of certain types she knew in real life growing up and because in the books they were often associated with comeuppance humor, which she despised. Plus they had nothing in common and she suspected they wouldn't like her. I would have avoided them in school. Draco I would keep at a safe distance. He's also a bully, but a different kind.

Obviously there are lots of Draco-lovers or at least people who can stand Draco amongst you all. It seems like when we're asked why we like the boy, the most common answer is, “He often says what I'm thinking.” I tend to also think of it as his stating the obvious and absurd. I believe, in fact, that JKR once described Draco as being such a bad bully because he was the "smart" kind who found weak spots to hurt people with. Weak spots=personal truths.

Now, obviously it's not as simple as saying this character speaks truth and others don't. It's also not-because I think this is what a lot of people think of when you describe a bully as truthful-about the kind of person who insults other people and claim they're being “honest.” Draco actually isn't that type. What I do mean is that Draco tends to speak a certain kind of truth in a certain way in certain situations, different ones than the main characters. Every character is going to have certain times when the truth is important and other times when they lie, just like any person. Draco just happens to always be a certain kind of voice. He says things that are usually considered bad to say-a certain kind of bad. Only some of us like exactly that kind of thing, particularly if we can't identify with the mainstream attitude that well.

This is where I think I really do identify with Draco and it has often gotten me in trouble. Like, I have this idea of myself as completely un-intimidating. So I've been surprised the few times I've been told I was harsh--well, actually, the word people always use is not harsh but "scary," and occasionally "evil," usually for saying something a little too true. Did I say something intentionally hurtful? In one case I suspect I did. It was to these two guys I went to high school with and there were times they made me angry because they were pretty insensitive and I suspect in joking around I did slip in things to cut them down to size. Imagine my surprise when by chance I found out they noticed and did get cut down!

More often, though, it's not that I've said something mean intentionally but I'll say something I think is just obvious, something I thought was perfectly fine because I can't see any reason for anyone to be sensitive about it, and be met with shocked stares. Or perhaps I did know it was sort of sensitive but still thought it should be said. Like, if I were friends with Draco Malfoy I would know if he was strutting around saying he was going to win the next Quidditch match and Potter wouldn't know what hit him, I would know not to say, "Yeah, it's not like he's humiliated you ever year since you were twelve." Because obviously I could see there was a personal reason he would need to not have that contradicted---Harry has no such excuses about Hagrid. He does have reason to be sensitive about his wanting the Weasleys as a surrogate family.

Here's the two examples I can think of from my own life. I hope they're not too tedious, but they're the ones that sprang to mind. The first was when I was in college and in an a Capella group. We'd lost a few people so we had a number of songs that needed new soloists and were having auditions at rehearsal. This one girl who was sort of a BNF (without the F) of the group and already had a few solos. She tried out for all four new ones. The first three all went to other people, because they happened to be more suited to them. The fourth number she was best for. So when we're discussing who we're going to give it to everybody was just all, "Ooh, I think X was great." "Yes, me too, her voice quality is perfect for this..." and it was just too ridiculous. So I laughed and commented how we were all relieved because it was we'd all been totally uncomfortable rejecting her. I mean, we all knew what she was like, and nobody wants to reject somebody four times in a row. Of course we were relieved! But from the way people stared at me you'd think I'd made a racial slur.

The other time was when I ran into this girl I knew in junior high. We were now in college and we met on a train. She was talking about her youngest sister, who was now 12, and saying how her sister had far more freedom than she did at that age. "She's allowed to DATE!” she said. “I was never allowed to date in seventh grade!" Like this was ever an issue for her-nobody wanted to date her in seventh grade. I made the mistake of saying as much and really pissed her off! Apparently I didn't get the memo with our revised seventh grade history where this girl's biggest stress in seventh grade came from her lame mom cramping her sex life instead of being picked on by girls and having no interaction with boys whatsoever. I wasn't trying to insult her; I thought we could share a laugh at being losers when we were 12. Of course, I should have remembered she was like this at 12 too.

Anyway, you can see the pattern. I just can't help it, though. It's not that I can't lie, it's just there are certain things where I feel like you should be able to tell it like it is. In fact, I was recently reading a great Agatha Christie where at the end (no spoilers) Poirot says that he expects the victim's 12-year-old son to come to him in a few years and ask for the details of his parent's murder. A character says, "You won't tell him, will you?" He says of course he will. This boy, like him, prizes truth above all else. Truth, even if it's bad, can be understood and put into the pattern. To her, the most important thing is that people not be hurt. To him the most important thing is knowing how things really are/really happened/really work. I hated the woman character in that moment, and I knew why the little boy was my favorite character.

And I think that's another reason I sort of lean toward this character. As Elkins said, we usually like people first because of their humor or personality and then we figure out their morals. It should be no surprise Draco cracks me up from his first scene-the one where most people and the hero decide he's Awful, and for exactly the same reasons. I think he had me at, “Exactly.” Or perhaps where, strangely honest as always, he introduces himself as a spoiled brat. Like I said, it's not a question of “this is me” or “he is just speaking truth.” It's just honestly I think either you respond really positively to, “Who wouldn't want a pet that stings, burns and bites?” or you don't. Perhaps instead you respond better to ton tongue toffee. It's a personal thing. I like "exactly." I have a fondness, especially, for people who are unwittingly rude because they're just clueless, particularly when I think the other person is over-serious or over-sensitive. In fact, reenka and I were talking about the appeal of the H/D with a certain kind of Fanon!Draco and I think this might be it--putting in a character that can do this and have it get the reaction they want. That's why when Fanon!Draco says the kinds of things that fill Canon!Harry with disgust, Fanon!Harry instead realizes he's kidding and is able to see the truth within and not see it as threatening.

ETA: Here's the original essay. It's a great read, and may make this more coherent. She actually lays it out much better than I do here, as I seem to have sometimes put across the exact opposite idea than I intended in this post! The point is, there are reasons we just plain like characters, and that probably often leads us to cut them slack where we might not with others. I know very well that I *like* this character, and am wondering maybe why. It's not a defense of why this character is likable or should be liked by others.

Comments

[ljash.livejournal.com]

Now, Draco. He's a peculiar case. And I think maybe a lot of what you can say about Draco depends on how you interpret the canon because, as I've said before, Rowling doesn't really tell us who he is and doesn't even seem to be expecting us to try to find out. But yes, Draco is a bully--kind of an inept one for some reason. His bullying isn't physical like most of F&G's or (usually) power-based like Snape's. He is left to what he can say to you. He's quite talented about knowing what button to hammer on but usually not so talented at the hammering itself. I'm not sure why I say that... just that usually he comes across as knowing what subject will drive you bonkers but never saying anything very subtle or cutting. His actual insults aren't impressive--he makes up for this by hitting the right subject and usually he can make people crazy even when he says unsubtle insults.

He's kind of a truth-teller, but not quite in a Cordelia way. (I forget if you're a Buffy fan, but the stuff you were talking about seems far more Cordelia than Draco. An insulting, tactless truth-teller who steps on the egos of the main characters by puncturing their illusions, sometimes intentionally and sometimes because that's just the way she approaches the world.) When he first met Harry he was just telling the truth as he saw it, oblivious to Harry's coldness at what he was saying. It was really the same in the train when he said Harry had better make the right kind of friends. But after that he seemed more trying to bug people with everything he said.

The examples from your life seemed neat to me--I sometimes wish I were more like that. I hate having to pretend the world is other than it is because everyone else agrees to. I do it, though, pretty successfully, but it grates on me.

As for liking characters... I think I have a hard time separating fiction from reality in that way. Sometimes I'll cheer on an underdog even if they're awful, but I think sometimes I'll do that in real life as well. Snape is kind of an example--a friend of mine hated Snape and I would kind of like him and we'd have these strange conversations about him. She couldn't excuse his behavior, even if she understood him more. I couldn't excuse him either, but for some reason I didn't care. I understood him. That meant a lot to me; I don't always understand Harry or Sirius or Ron or Hermione or Dumbledore or really anybody else. I think if I had to be around him I'd smack him in the head frequently (that'd get me some interesting punishments) but that I might, even still, find him intriguing, and lonely, and maybe more like me than anyone else is.

[sistermagpie.livejournal.com]

This is great! And see, I think you're totally right in your first sentence and that's the point: if you like Snape but dislike F&G for being bullies, isn't that an unfair judgment? And it is, but only, imo, if you're literally trying to prove or pretend that Snape isn't a bully and F&G are. Elkins wound up doing a sort of series of essays regarding this subject because it took a while to be understood, I think, but that was basically it. Sometimes characters doing mean things is funny, even if you don't approve of it. But you can't really choose which characters you're going to find funny and which ones you aren't.

And once you like a character, you naturally look for their reasons, the sympathetic things in them. You want them to be nicer--things you let go in your friend might drive you crazy with others. So I think a lot of times the moral aspect gets mixed in where it doesn't belong. Like here I'm saying hey, for some reason I *like* this character--and there's a lot of reasons I like him. I think you have a good point, for instance, in what you're saying about the twins, that they bug you because they're all about happy malice. Snape, at least, is miserable himself. In fact, I think Elkins actually said something similar where she admitted that one of the things she can't stand is brutishness. Snape is more attractive to her, even if he's also a bully, because he is at least sensitive, while I think F&G are not.

For other people the opposite is true, I suspect. In canon it appears that "sensitive bullies" are definitely considered horrible in ways insensitive ones are not. But it shouldn't be surprising to anyone that not everyone ranks them that way. Some people are going to react more negatively to different characters.

Cordelia actually does sound more like I've described...I think I've not yet really put my finger on the right description here. Because, like, I remember in OotP the thing that I found myself liking about the Draco scenes was his irreverence. All this serious stuff was going on and he was doing terrible things and it was all just sort of HA HA HA! But in a way that I appreciated, for some reason. I guess that's why, as I said to Reena, I could draw a shady line from him to fellow Slytherin Phineas who had a sort of related approach to Harry.

[slinkhard.livejournal.com]

If you like Snape but dislike F&G for being bullies, isn't that an unfair judgment?

Heh, I always think that many of the characters in HP are similiar (Harry and Draco are like mirror images, to me anyway), the only difference is how they're treated by the world around them and the authorial voice.
So Snape, while I have many problems with him including his treatment of students, is at least acknowledged as a bully: no-one could/would/does defend him from the charge, everyone, even his closest friend (I suppose would be Dumbledore, by default *shudders* Until we find out more about him and Lucius, perhaps) and worst enemies recognise this. And although he doesn't face consequences for his actions as frequently as some (Dudley and Draco seem to be the two that are 'punished' the most, probably because they're Harry's age - there's something more pathetic about an adult being humiliated) he's not rewarded either - he's ugly, he's nasty, he's alone and he has a dead-end job that he clearly doesn't enjoy.
Whereas Fred and George are popular, beloved, funny and presumably successful. No-one, from their worst enemies (Slytherins, I guess!) to their closest friends has ever contemplated accusing them of being bullies (as far as we know.)
Likewise, I don't resent Harry for being arrogant, or self-centred or cruel; or Hermione for being vicious because I adore Draco and Pansy for the same qualities; I resent them for the kidgloves they're treated with, both on a meta-level and within the text.

[sistermagpie.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I think first that the authorial approval or seeing people get away with everything all the time when you want them to get smackdown is one thing...and there's even also just the sort of bullying amuses you. Like, when Fred and George talk about giving people boils during OWLS it's just not particularly funny to me. It's just an inconvenience. You made people look awful and feel awful and whatever, but it doesn't strike me as funny.

Snape, I have to admit, occasionally gets much closer to my sense of humor--or at least he also makes me laugh because I identify with his situation of being surrounded by idiots. Draco's humor isn't the same, but sometimes he just makes me laugh too. It's funny, because in some ways his humor is just as stupid as the twins, but maybe it doesn't bother me as much because he seems young and stupid whereas the twins are presented as if they're cool. But really, you know, as repulsive as it is for a boy to be a bigot, is it really sexier to dream of opening a practical joke shop?

God, now I have this image of the twins as middle aged guys coming to visit a boy Snape and it being like that guys "Joey Nickles" in Annie Hall where he keeps laughing and pulling coins out of Alvy's ear and the kid's like, "What an asshole."

[slinkhard.livejournal.com]

I can't see anyone aging well in HP - Sirius kind of reminded me of the middleaged drunk guy down the local pub who likes to chat up 'chicks' and sing karaoke to the Sex Pistols. I'm sure he has a motorbike, too. ;)
Harry and Ron would probably live off their adventures for years to come and go around having sex with groupies and being Bagman-esque (read a wicked fic along that line - http://archive.skyehawke.com/story.php?no=1197, as well as http://www.livejournal.com/users/kittenfic/44033.html and Fat!Loser!Ron http://www.thedarkarts.org/authorLinks/Durendal/I_Was_A_Death_Eater/)
And yeah, there's something a little pathetic about two sixteen year olds desperately fantasizing about playing jokes (what I don't get, incidentally, is how their shop would make any money when there's already one nearby - Zonko's? They should just go and work for them as inventors, but I suppose it's not Gryffindorian to work for others.) as much as there is the idea of making badges with 'Potter Stinks' on them ;) it's just one is presented as the ultimate in cool, the other isn't.
As for humour, Draco and Snape make me laugh even though their styles are different, because they both say things I agree with.
I think we were talking about humour in one of the_snarkery chapters, and how a lot of it's puerile in HP, it's just that it's not acknowledged when it's Harry everyone's laughing with in unison. Or Hagrid. Or Ron. Or the twins. *trails off*

[sistermagpie.livejournal.com]

Good lord. What does it say about a society when they seem to have one main shopping street and we're to assume it could support TWO competing joke shops.