I'm kind of catching up here -there were so many posts in just a few days, so I had to save a few of them for later! ^^;
I agree as usual with everything you say here, and that's a tension that often is there in male/female friendships, I think. It's not really flattering to recieve the message that "you're a great friend, but you're not the kind of boy/girl one would want to date/go to bed with", even if it's meant to be a compliment.
Going on a tangent, re the Yule Ball chapter, though, I have to say that even before the "Hermione you're a girl", it really seems that both Harry and Ron regards her differently in their friendship, due to her gender. Usually it's "the trio", but as soon as they hear about the ball, it's all of a sudden "Harry and Ron". They worry about the other not getting a date, or dating a "troll", and not once do they think about the prospect of "getting Hermione a date", or wanting her "not to date a troll" either. If I was their friend, I have to say I'd be hurt by that, they're not even the slightest bit interested in how she's doing on the dating front. They never ask how it's going, and they seem perfectly willing to leave her behind, letting her go there alone, if they get the girls they dream of. This is of course seeing things from an entirely Hermione-perspective, but in her shoes, I think I would not only be hurt "as a girl", but "as a friend", too.
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Date: 2005-10-26 06:20 pm (UTC)I agree as usual with everything you say here, and that's a tension that often is there in male/female friendships, I think. It's not really flattering to recieve the message that "you're a great friend, but you're not the kind of boy/girl one would want to date/go to bed with", even if it's meant to be a compliment.
Going on a tangent, re the Yule Ball chapter, though, I have to say that even before the "Hermione you're a girl", it really seems that both Harry and Ron regards her differently in their friendship, due to her gender. Usually it's "the trio", but as soon as they hear about the ball, it's all of a sudden "Harry and Ron". They worry about the other not getting a date, or dating a "troll", and not once do they think about the prospect of "getting Hermione a date", or wanting her "not to date a troll" either. If I was their friend, I have to say I'd be hurt by that, they're not even the slightest bit interested in how she's doing on the dating front. They never ask how it's going, and they seem perfectly willing to leave her behind, letting her go there alone, if they get the girls they dream of. This is of course seeing things from an entirely Hermione-perspective, but in her shoes, I think I would not only be hurt "as a girl", but "as a friend", too.