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Thanks to everybody who posted about the romantic pairing tropes that they like! Maybe it was that post that got me thinking about tropes in general while I was reading other things, but lately I've been thinking about another trope I just love--I guess it would be called a trope. Not a romantic one, this time. I call it the "Prince Hal moment" in my head, though that's really not a very accurate thing to call it.
My name for it comes from Shakespeare's Henry IV--a play that I really don't know well at all. But I know Henry V. Prince Hal hangs around with Falstaff as a kid, but I think he even has a monologue where he says he knows that he won't be able to keep this relationship up when he's king. As king he'll cut himself off from this inappropriate relationship--and that's just what he does. In the Kenneth Branagh Henry V--which I totally love--he has a flashback where Prince Hal and Falstaff are having fun and then Falstaff becomes anxious, like he sees what's coming, and there's some voice over lines from their future, including Prince Hal saying "I know thee not, Old Man."
The situation in Shakespeare is very specific with politics involved and all that, but the trope I've given its name to is more this: I love situations where characters grow up together and then have to face a change in their relationship when they're adults because they're different people. It’s not that I like relationships where I know that one person's going to get dumped and I look forward to the dumping. It's more like...when you're young you're in transition. Friendship is on one hand super important at that age, but otoh it can be based on things that don't last.
For instance, not the best example, but let's say there's two guys, Bill and Joe. They've grown up in a small town, both dreaming and planning how they're going to grow up and leave the town behind. Only--and this might always be clear to an adult reading about their lives--Bill is actually more suited to staying in the small town and doing exactly what his dad does. His fantasies are an important part of his growing up and the basis for his connection to Joe, but for him it's not about really wanting to leave. Joe, otoh, really is suited to moving to a city, maybe having some high stress job.
So what happens when they get to the brink of adulthood? They have a few options:
Or maybe some other combination of circumstances. The point is that place where two roads divide. But for me, it’s not just a case of two people wanting different things, but this element of one life being seen as better so it’s embarrassing if the other person can’t cut it. I say “seen as better” because it isn’t objectively better, it’s just always been agreed upon to be such by one or both of the characters. So there’s an element of disappointment for one of them.
Recently I've been thinking about this a lot because of stuff going on in the Robin comics because this is exactly the kind of relationship I've always seen as existing between Tim and Stephanie, who are not only teenagers growing up, but also kids getting experience for a really elite profession. The "training program" is another common version of this trope: two people enter a training program. The fact that they've both made it into the training program at all makes them seem like equals. Only as they get further in, it becomes clear that one of them really doesn't have what it takes.
It's not that the non-qualified person is a loser, but the situation creates this awkward impression that they are, and how is that dealt with? Does the competent person get frustrated with them? Become arrogant? Go into denial? And how does the problematic person deal with it? Can they make the break and look for some other profession, even if this was their dream? Do they blame other people? Do they wind up being one of those people who have pretend careers? Like the kind of people who talk like they're part of a profession and maybe even believe they're part of it even though nobody actually in the profession would recognize them as such? (That kind of person can be really compelling, but it's probably not anything a person sets out to be.)
As I said, none of those situations really have much to do with the situation in Shakespeare at all, but I still call it that I guess because of the stark line between youthful!Hal and adult!Hal with regards to how he relates to Falstaff. What's funny is I'm trying to think now just why I'm attracted to these kinds of relationships, because I feel like if I was going to identify with one side of the friendship it would probably be the person who's not good enough just because that's what I'd fear I'd be. Only I'd identify with the better person's perspective, maybe, because I'd hope that I'd be self-aware. Though it doesn't always have to be the competent person who's self-aware. Sometimes the competent person is the one in denial because they don't want to deal with the awkwardness of being better at something than their friend, or they just want the friend to stick around.
The situation can play out in a number of different ways, depending on the people. Sometimes the friendship can endure as well, once the awkwardness is dealt with. For instance, I love post-Hogwarts fics where we find out that while Ron and Harry both entered Auror training, Ron flunked out or Harry flunked out. This hasn’t destroyed the friendship but actually made it better, because Ron is no longer defined by doing everything Harry does but not being good at it. Another happy ending would be one where the less stellar character simply doesn’t mind having the less stellar career while also still connecting with their friend on a personal level.
I guess really the only constant is this: if both characters achieve self-awareness and so are comfortable with who they both are, they are happy. If one or both characters fail to achieve self-awareness and don’t accept who one of them is, they are unhappy in a rather exquisitely painful way that’s tragic to read about but I enjoy it anyway.
My name for it comes from Shakespeare's Henry IV--a play that I really don't know well at all. But I know Henry V. Prince Hal hangs around with Falstaff as a kid, but I think he even has a monologue where he says he knows that he won't be able to keep this relationship up when he's king. As king he'll cut himself off from this inappropriate relationship--and that's just what he does. In the Kenneth Branagh Henry V--which I totally love--he has a flashback where Prince Hal and Falstaff are having fun and then Falstaff becomes anxious, like he sees what's coming, and there's some voice over lines from their future, including Prince Hal saying "I know thee not, Old Man."
The situation in Shakespeare is very specific with politics involved and all that, but the trope I've given its name to is more this: I love situations where characters grow up together and then have to face a change in their relationship when they're adults because they're different people. It’s not that I like relationships where I know that one person's going to get dumped and I look forward to the dumping. It's more like...when you're young you're in transition. Friendship is on one hand super important at that age, but otoh it can be based on things that don't last.
For instance, not the best example, but let's say there's two guys, Bill and Joe. They've grown up in a small town, both dreaming and planning how they're going to grow up and leave the town behind. Only--and this might always be clear to an adult reading about their lives--Bill is actually more suited to staying in the small town and doing exactly what his dad does. His fantasies are an important part of his growing up and the basis for his connection to Joe, but for him it's not about really wanting to leave. Joe, otoh, really is suited to moving to a city, maybe having some high stress job.
So what happens when they get to the brink of adulthood? They have a few options:
- Joe leaves town and Bill stays. Their friendship changes. Perhaps they lose touch and don't think about each other much. Or perhaps they occasionally see each other when Joe comes for a visit. They are no longer the same people, but respect each other and cherish their friendship as an important part of their childhood, even if they don't quite understand each other the same way now.
- Bill tries to hold on to Joe and keep him from leaving, undermining his confidence or plans. Joe stays in town and is unhappy, maybe resenting Bill on some level without really being able to outright blame him for his choices. Or maybe he can. Regardless, in trying to hold onto the friendship in its earlier form Bill has killed it nonetheless, because it's not the same anymore.
- Joe drags Bill with him to the big city. Bill is unhappy and winds up feeling like a failure because he's always competing in a life he doesn't really love and to which he's unsuited. Joe comes to pity Bill and see him as sort of incompetent, no matter how much help he gives him.
Or maybe some other combination of circumstances. The point is that place where two roads divide. But for me, it’s not just a case of two people wanting different things, but this element of one life being seen as better so it’s embarrassing if the other person can’t cut it. I say “seen as better” because it isn’t objectively better, it’s just always been agreed upon to be such by one or both of the characters. So there’s an element of disappointment for one of them.
Recently I've been thinking about this a lot because of stuff going on in the Robin comics because this is exactly the kind of relationship I've always seen as existing between Tim and Stephanie, who are not only teenagers growing up, but also kids getting experience for a really elite profession. The "training program" is another common version of this trope: two people enter a training program. The fact that they've both made it into the training program at all makes them seem like equals. Only as they get further in, it becomes clear that one of them really doesn't have what it takes.
It's not that the non-qualified person is a loser, but the situation creates this awkward impression that they are, and how is that dealt with? Does the competent person get frustrated with them? Become arrogant? Go into denial? And how does the problematic person deal with it? Can they make the break and look for some other profession, even if this was their dream? Do they blame other people? Do they wind up being one of those people who have pretend careers? Like the kind of people who talk like they're part of a profession and maybe even believe they're part of it even though nobody actually in the profession would recognize them as such? (That kind of person can be really compelling, but it's probably not anything a person sets out to be.)
As I said, none of those situations really have much to do with the situation in Shakespeare at all, but I still call it that I guess because of the stark line between youthful!Hal and adult!Hal with regards to how he relates to Falstaff. What's funny is I'm trying to think now just why I'm attracted to these kinds of relationships, because I feel like if I was going to identify with one side of the friendship it would probably be the person who's not good enough just because that's what I'd fear I'd be. Only I'd identify with the better person's perspective, maybe, because I'd hope that I'd be self-aware. Though it doesn't always have to be the competent person who's self-aware. Sometimes the competent person is the one in denial because they don't want to deal with the awkwardness of being better at something than their friend, or they just want the friend to stick around.
The situation can play out in a number of different ways, depending on the people. Sometimes the friendship can endure as well, once the awkwardness is dealt with. For instance, I love post-Hogwarts fics where we find out that while Ron and Harry both entered Auror training, Ron flunked out or Harry flunked out. This hasn’t destroyed the friendship but actually made it better, because Ron is no longer defined by doing everything Harry does but not being good at it. Another happy ending would be one where the less stellar character simply doesn’t mind having the less stellar career while also still connecting with their friend on a personal level.
I guess really the only constant is this: if both characters achieve self-awareness and so are comfortable with who they both are, they are happy. If one or both characters fail to achieve self-awareness and don’t accept who one of them is, they are unhappy in a rather exquisitely painful way that’s tragic to read about but I enjoy it anyway.
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