First that there's a resentment of people putting their minds towards social situations at all, caring about those sorts of things. It's hard not to relate that to the many metas I've read about people who definitely want to be seen as the person who can't do that, who just doesn't have that ability (even though it's really not being presented as an ability but the sign of a weaker character)
I'm trying -- and failing -- to figure this one out. Maybe because I don't see it as some magical ability that some people are granted and others aren't, but as a specific set of skills, which to some extent can be picked up by most people?
I was one of those poorly socialized fen. Ridiculously awkward and had a had time with social cues. But I made a conscious decision to learn to emulate proper social behavior. I'm still shy, especially around groups of new people, but I can handle myself.
Obviously, some people are born with a natural talent for socializing, just like for singing or gymnastics or whatever. And maybe all of my hard work will never get to the level that some people can achieve effortlessly. But my experience at picking up the skill of social interaction (like learning to sing) has given me new ways to express myself. In the end, the hard work was worth it. And as a bonus, I find myself a lot less resentful of the people who have that particular talent.
I'm rambling a bit, I know. Migraine meds are starting to kick in.
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Date: 2010-01-11 10:19 am (UTC)I'm trying -- and failing -- to figure this one out. Maybe because I don't see it as some magical ability that some people are granted and others aren't, but as a specific set of skills, which to some extent can be picked up by most people?
I was one of those poorly socialized fen. Ridiculously awkward and had a had time with social cues. But I made a conscious decision to learn to emulate proper social behavior. I'm still shy, especially around groups of new people, but I can handle myself.
Obviously, some people are born with a natural talent for socializing, just like for singing or gymnastics or whatever. And maybe all of my hard work will never get to the level that some people can achieve effortlessly. But my experience at picking up the skill of social interaction (like learning to sing) has given me new ways to express myself. In the end, the hard work was worth it. And as a bonus, I find myself a lot less resentful of the people who have that particular talent.
I'm rambling a bit, I know. Migraine meds are starting to kick in.