Somebody out there hates me!

reenka brought up something really interesting recently (which is not unusual for reenka) that made me start thinking about being disliked. We were talking about how awful it is when people make characters perfect in fanfic and felt characters weren't real unless they were able to be hated. They don't have to be hated all the time, but you have to be able to imagine that somebody hates them somewhere. What's sometimes even funnier is when you know the author is basing the character on their view of wonderful and you end up hating them as well as their characters.

It made me think about how so many people spend their lives trying so hard to believe everyone loves them and it's just impossible. A few years ago--I think it was the Internet that did it--I suddenly realized that if you didn't rub up against somebody the wrong way at least some of the time you probably didn't exist. I'm not talking about being obnoxious to get attention--I've never bought those people who claim they're "honest" when they're really cruel etc. But if you've got a pov and a personality and you express it, no matter how gently, at some point you're probably going to bother someone. Even if you don't express it you'll probably creep people out because who's that person smiling vacantly in the corner? She's annoying. We hate her!

When you realize this it's kind of freeing. You can concentrate more on reachable goals. Like, you can't make everyone like you but you can be the kind of person you think people should like and that will appeal to somebody out there. I remember reading somewhere once that "we become that which we admire" and that's totally true. Even if you don't become as exceptional as your idol you'll pick up something. And whatever you're aspiring to and becoming will really annoy somebody who's aspiring to become something else. Now you're a player in life. Or something. Does that make sense? I don't know. This is something you can't help think about on the 'net because of the way personalities are always knocking against each other.