I remember when a friend of mine was sort of hesitating about seeing her mother before she died. She had one friend who said she needed to see her, I think because this was her story and she needed to know the end of it. Which I could understand, but I basically said that she needed to think about whether or not she wanted or needed to do it and if she didn't, there was no reason to feel like she'd be forever unfulfilled because of it. I think in the end she might not have seen her before she died--and I think sometimes people might feel like they need permission for that, almost.
That also reminds me of an article I remember reading about a couple who went through a stillborn birth. The hospital really encouraged the mother to hold the baby and maybe have a picture taken with it. I think they had the best of intentions based on their experience. They said that based on what they'd seen of others a lot of people who didn't do that regretted it later. But still it seemed for this woman to just give her a horrifying moment and a bad memory. She hadn't wanted to see the baby (she knew she was giving birth to a stillborn child beforehand) and when she took it and looked into the baby's face she was just disturbed by it.
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Date: 2011-01-26 03:28 am (UTC)That also reminds me of an article I remember reading about a couple who went through a stillborn birth. The hospital really encouraged the mother to hold the baby and maybe have a picture taken with it. I think they had the best of intentions based on their experience. They said that based on what they'd seen of others a lot of people who didn't do that regretted it later. But still it seemed for this woman to just give her a horrifying moment and a bad memory. She hadn't wanted to see the baby (she knew she was giving birth to a stillborn child beforehand) and when she took it and looked into the baby's face she was just disturbed by it.