Even if you think you can handle anything they say, having a lover hate your work feels like a rejection--and it's really hard to review your partner's work objectively, you're afraid of hurting them, etc.
I feel the same way--it seems like that's one of those Big Mistakes that somebody would make, giving something they've written to a friend. In fact, I know I've read that as advice to writers who are trying to get published--the fact that all your friends say they love it means absolutely nothing.
And then, as you say, being in a relationship is a whole 'nother set of landmines. If you happen to have a writer/editor relationship to begin with maybe, but not everyone is able to criticize well without getting into all these other issues. Particularly if they're going to make it into a power play, as your ex did. I remember when I was a teenager giving one or two things to my mother and realizing this was not somebody who would ever be getting anything again.
But then I know I'm more Justice League than Ivy League.
And be proud to be so! Actually, my guess is either league has an equally good chance of being a good editor. It just comes down to being able to really see what's good in either one.
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Date: 2004-05-17 07:03 am (UTC)I feel the same way--it seems like that's one of those Big Mistakes that somebody would make, giving something they've written to a friend. In fact, I know I've read that as advice to writers who are trying to get published--the fact that all your friends say they love it means absolutely nothing.
And then, as you say, being in a relationship is a whole 'nother set of landmines. If you happen to have a writer/editor relationship to begin with maybe, but not everyone is able to criticize well without getting into all these other issues. Particularly if they're going to make it into a power play, as your ex did. I remember when I was a teenager giving one or two things to my mother and realizing this was not somebody who would ever be getting anything again.
But then I know I'm more Justice League than Ivy League.
And be proud to be so! Actually, my guess is either league has an equally good chance of being a good editor. It just comes down to being able to really see what's good in either one.