![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
I am not getting any e-mail and I don't know why. They just started coming, but anything from today before the last ten minutes seems to be gone.
I've been reading this book on the Shadow as in Jung (kind of a theme lately) and I'm reading about how the Shadow is all the things you repress in yourself, so you're enraged when you see them in other people. So somebody else could be a terrible person but wouldn't bother you as much because you're not repressing those kinds of things too much. What's horrible about it is I'm reading and knowing that my shadow…
Is post-GoF Ginny Weasley.
She's not the only one, obviously, but oh my god she so is my shadow. When I hear anyone defending her--even reasonably--I am filled with rage. Of course, being who I am (what I repress) I have to try to listen objectively and even admit when the person has a point, because I always want to be accurate and blah blah. Sometimes even I have to defend her because something's off. But what I really want to do is hex the person so that they shut up. Or say something mean that's probably like, "Don't start talking about Quidditch, you'll only embarrass yourself." Or run into the person and put them in the infirmary. This is why it's so strange when people say one must hate Ginny because one wants Harry for herself, because when Harry is liking Ginny it's hard for me to just not see him as a jerk. Like I picture them in their 30s as some dreadful couple I'd avoid. Unfortunately this isn't exactly objective canon analysis, so I can't usually just say that.
The one good thing about this is Lupin is a lot like me in this way--I mean, the kind of stuff he swallows--so maybe he hates her too. I believe when Ginny is throwing her temper tantrum in OotP Lupin quietly shuts the door. For Lupin that's probably the equivalent of smacking her in the face. Poor guy has to live with her.
Oh, the other thing I just read in one essay in the book that we tend to notice and react to Shadow things more in our own gender than the opposite gender--we can ignore stuff when it's in the other gender. I guess that's where fandom's OMG U R JUS JELLUS AND U DON'T LIKE GIRLZ!!1!!1
I was thinking about this in my ballet class, mostly because I have another Shadow problem there, or maybe it's just a pet peeve. Okay, in a dance class you often split into groups to do combinations. There is this woman who always GOES WITH ALL THE GROUPS! In this case there's just the two groups, but it drives me up a tree. The point is to split up so there's room. Yes, she's just one more person, but why the hell does she get to decide that she's the person who gets to dance whenever she wants because everyone else is only going once? What if everybody just decided to do that? (And btw, we're talking about somebody who's in class with some professional dancers--not me--and is herself not even really on the level the class is at. Every time I see her doing it I start stewing. Also she always winds up standing near me so I'm wishing there wasn't somebody so close to me because I don't like people behind me and look--it's her!
I've been reading this book on the Shadow as in Jung (kind of a theme lately) and I'm reading about how the Shadow is all the things you repress in yourself, so you're enraged when you see them in other people. So somebody else could be a terrible person but wouldn't bother you as much because you're not repressing those kinds of things too much. What's horrible about it is I'm reading and knowing that my shadow…
Is post-GoF Ginny Weasley.
She's not the only one, obviously, but oh my god she so is my shadow. When I hear anyone defending her--even reasonably--I am filled with rage. Of course, being who I am (what I repress) I have to try to listen objectively and even admit when the person has a point, because I always want to be accurate and blah blah. Sometimes even I have to defend her because something's off. But what I really want to do is hex the person so that they shut up. Or say something mean that's probably like, "Don't start talking about Quidditch, you'll only embarrass yourself." Or run into the person and put them in the infirmary. This is why it's so strange when people say one must hate Ginny because one wants Harry for herself, because when Harry is liking Ginny it's hard for me to just not see him as a jerk. Like I picture them in their 30s as some dreadful couple I'd avoid. Unfortunately this isn't exactly objective canon analysis, so I can't usually just say that.
The one good thing about this is Lupin is a lot like me in this way--I mean, the kind of stuff he swallows--so maybe he hates her too. I believe when Ginny is throwing her temper tantrum in OotP Lupin quietly shuts the door. For Lupin that's probably the equivalent of smacking her in the face. Poor guy has to live with her.
Oh, the other thing I just read in one essay in the book that we tend to notice and react to Shadow things more in our own gender than the opposite gender--we can ignore stuff when it's in the other gender. I guess that's where fandom's OMG U R JUS JELLUS AND U DON'T LIKE GIRLZ!!1!!1
I was thinking about this in my ballet class, mostly because I have another Shadow problem there, or maybe it's just a pet peeve. Okay, in a dance class you often split into groups to do combinations. There is this woman who always GOES WITH ALL THE GROUPS! In this case there's just the two groups, but it drives me up a tree. The point is to split up so there's room. Yes, she's just one more person, but why the hell does she get to decide that she's the person who gets to dance whenever she wants because everyone else is only going once? What if everybody just decided to do that? (And btw, we're talking about somebody who's in class with some professional dancers--not me--and is herself not even really on the level the class is at. Every time I see her doing it I start stewing. Also she always winds up standing near me so I'm wishing there wasn't somebody so close to me because I don't like people behind me and look--it's her!
From: (Anonymous)
no subject
Instant irrational visceral loathing feels so ... immature when one is doing it. But there's nothing for it. Nothing can make it go away. I've had a couple within the friends&family circle for loong periods of time, and god, what do you say when somebody asks what do you think about their gf/bf and the honest answer is "I loathe them with all my being and sitting next to them makes me sick. I want to scream each time they talk to me, or say anything at all and I wish I never had to see them again.". It's not exactly something you up and confesses. :)
I can totally relate to that reaction to Ginny. I just want her to GO AWAY. There have been some discussions of her and H/G and "girl-bashing" lately and I'm been sitting on my hands to stop the vitriol spewing all over lj. I don't know which Ginny defenses are worse, the stupid ones or the reasonable ones. But I know that no matter how calm, intelligent and reasonably her case is stated, there's really no point.
I don't think it would have been so bad if there weren't legitimate and important reasons to question her characterisation and behaviour in the text. As it is, it so easy to get in this big tangle of loathing where the "good" reasons and the "gut" reasons get all mixed up.
And then when somebody starts ranting about jealousy and wanting Harry for yourselves or hating women or whatever, it's so hard to try and stay calm and rational and accept other people's pov.
I'm kind of wondering if the same Shadow system applies to ships, too. There are some ships I can accept, some I like, some I'm indifferent to, one I love, and then a few, but two in particular, that just boils my brain. There is rage just at the idea of them, I don't have to read fic to get all worked up, just seeing the ship notifications makes my stomach heave. Literally. Maybe there's a similar opposite relationship going on.
Um. I didn't mean this to be a rant. I just wanted to say word. You know. :)
- Clara
From:
no subject
Also I think there's the fact that with Ginny in particular I don't feel her character is treated realistically within her canon. If you hate Hermione at least there are going to be some places where she suffers in canon for the very things you dislike about her, probably. Things go badly for Ron. Snape hates Sirius for you, lots of characters hate Snape for you.
With Ginny there's no outlet within the canon, even though obviously in real life Ginny wouldn't be universally liked just as she isn't in canon. Also now that I have admitted that some of her worst qualities are things that pop out of me when I'm not careful I know that you do tend to get negative reactions to them. Perhaps, since JKR has described Ginny as "ideal" even if it's just in context as the "ideal girl for Harry" (since she seems to kind of see Harry as deserving the best) she's got a blindspot about her.
I do think the Shadow could somehow apply to ships, definitely. It would probably just take a bit to work out exactly how it was expressing itself there...?
From:
no subject
Still, I warm to Draco and Pansy just that bit more than I already had for not seeing what's so special about her. (Why can't Pansy cat-fight with Ginny, anyway, since she and Hermione have/had this female rivalry, blah blah, we know what girls are like?)
From: (Anonymous)
no subject
Draco doesn't need any more love from me, but I've really warmed to Pansy through fandom, too.
And I'm sure she could take on wondergirl, ;) after all, when have we seen Ginny win a fair fight?
- Clara
From:
no subject
When have we seen anyone win a fair fight? ;) I can at least excuse the Slytherins, since they get blasted for cheating either way, but hello, Gryffindors? Where's that famed bravery?
From:
no subject
As I keep saying in posts, the very idea that Severus Snape was in unrequited love with Lily absolutely turns my stomach. Considering I once had an idea for Crabbe/Goyle MPreg, this might be considered more than a little irrational. I think it's because the idea of Severus being stripped of his dignity by that, for this character I don't like, who is presented as an utter paragon of virtue by the text is repulsive to me. But if people even so much as mention the idea, I have to sit on my hands to stop myself from going on about how utterly sick it makes me :(
*thinks happy thoughts*