Amateur HP Psychology

[sistermagpie]

I am not getting any e-mail and I don't know why. They just started coming, but anything from today before the last ten minutes seems to be gone.

I've been reading this book on the Shadow as in Jung (kind of a theme lately) and I'm reading about how the Shadow is all the things you repress in yourself, so you're enraged when you see them in other people. So somebody else could be a terrible person but wouldn't bother you as much because you're not repressing those kinds of things too much. What's horrible about it is I'm reading and knowing that my shadow…

Is post-GoF Ginny Weasley.

She's not the only one, obviously, but oh my god she so is my shadow. When I hear anyone defending her--even reasonably--I am filled with rage. Of course, being who I am (what I repress) I have to try to listen objectively and even admit when the person has a point, because I always want to be accurate and blah blah. Sometimes even I have to defend her because something's off. But what I really want to do is hex the person so that they shut up. Or say something mean that's probably like, "Don't start talking about Quidditch, you'll only embarrass yourself." Or run into the person and put them in the infirmary. This is why it's so strange when people say one must hate Ginny because one wants Harry for herself, because when Harry is liking Ginny it's hard for me to just not see him as a jerk. Like I picture them in their 30s as some dreadful couple I'd avoid. Unfortunately this isn't exactly objective canon analysis, so I can't usually just say that.

The one good thing about this is Lupin is a lot like me in this way--I mean, the kind of stuff he swallows--so maybe he hates her too. I believe when Ginny is throwing her temper tantrum in OotP Lupin quietly shuts the door. For Lupin that's probably the equivalent of smacking her in the face. Poor guy has to live with her.

Oh, the other thing I just read in one essay in the book that we tend to notice and react to Shadow things more in our own gender than the opposite gender--we can ignore stuff when it's in the other gender. I guess that's where fandom's OMG U R JUS JELLUS AND U DON'T LIKE GIRLZ!!1!!1

I was thinking about this in my ballet class, mostly because I have another Shadow problem there, or maybe it's just a pet peeve. Okay, in a dance class you often split into groups to do combinations. There is this woman who always GOES WITH ALL THE GROUPS! In this case there's just the two groups, but it drives me up a tree. The point is to split up so there's room. Yes, she's just one more person, but why the hell does she get to decide that she's the person who gets to dance whenever she wants because everyone else is only going once? What if everybody just decided to do that? (And btw, we're talking about somebody who's in class with some professional dancers--not me--and is herself not even really on the level the class is at. Every time I see her doing it I start stewing. Also she always winds up standing near me so I'm wishing there wasn't somebody so close to me because I don't like people behind me and look--it's her!

Comments

[jollityfarm.livejournal.com]

Since Lily is the character that pisses me off the most, I guess she'd be my shadow, except I can't think what qualities of hers I'm repressing in myself. I think my dislike for her might simply be, as Teratologist said above, a reaction to the reams of praise and the suggestion that Harry's mother had no real faults (except for little completely excuseable ones, of course, like being a bit cheeky). I find it easier to like most characters when I can really delve into their manky sides. Like Sirius - can't like him if he's the brave sexy rebel who rides a shiny bike and has the fluffiest relationship ever with his friends and lovers, but can stand him much more when seeing him as this miserable immature screaming remnant of a man who fucked up his life and had to live (and die) with that.

Curiously, I began to like Severus so much because he reminded me of me. He wants to be admired above all others, he's obviously bad with people in that special "stop existing you pain-in-the-arse" way(if he was a Muggle, he'd spend as long as he physically could on LJ, rather than going out), he seems to find it nigh-on impossible to forgive and forget or to admit that he's wrong. I think, however, that if his attitude and qualities along those lines resulted in his sucess and in people admiring him and saying what a strong and wonderful man he was, he'd piss me off. Harry has a lot of the same qualities Professor Snape does, what with the snap reactions to things, the tendency to cuddle grudges forever, and the bad hair (sorry) and yet canon praises him for his strength of character. Perhaps, then, Harry is my shadow, getting away with stuff that I can't :(

[sistermagpie.livejournal.com]

Like Sirius - can't like him if he's the brave sexy rebel who rides a shiny bike and has the fluffiest relationship ever with his friends and lovers, but can stand him much more when seeing him as this miserable immature screaming remnant of a man who fucked up his life and had to live (and die) with that.

Yes! I mean, what drives you crazy is the way everybody acts like there is no flaw, or only those fake ones that don't really count. Lily and Ginny are practically the same person sometimes--and omg, I am so not looking forward to any hints that she was so perfect that she liked Snape *even though he didn't deserve it* and then he didn't appreciate the wonderfulness. I think that's just often a big problem in this canon is that it's so obvious how all the characters are ranked. Like when Ginny is nice to Luna you know she's supposed to get points for it because Luna is this pitiful loser--and so Luna is forced to constantly kiss Ginny's ass about it. I can totally see the same thing with Snape and Lily.

Perhaps, then, Harry is my shadow, getting away with stuff that I can't

You know, that is totally possible. I mean, like with Ginny I'm somebody who feels compelled to try to understand everybody and give them all equal respect--but she walks around making easy judgments and telling people off accordingly. When something like that pops out of me people usually stare like--wtf did you just say? But Ginny flits around with everybody thinking she's great. I'll bet if Ginny was more someone who did this and was punished for it (perhaps like Malfoy) I'd like her more.

[go-back-chief.livejournal.com]

Yeah, Ginny is totally my least favourite character (though I could see how Lily would be, if I knew more about her), but I think that's just because she's badly written, and that I get the feeling that she's supposed to be someone I just don't see: someone who's funny instead of lame and mean, and who's "warm" and "compassionate" (Wha??!??), and more than anything, someone everyone is supposed to like. I don't see how she could be my shadow, as she just doesn't seem realistic enough to be.

I think it more likely that Snape would be my shadow -stuck in old grudges, never growing up, never moving on, or possibly Harry in all his self-absorbedness, and in always denying that he might be responsible for something himself. But honestly, I wouldn't dare calling any of these character "my shadow", for sure. I think the side in me that I hate the most, and try to repress the most, would be a narrow-minded, martyre-like, passive and weak one. And while Harry could represent the two first things there, I hardly think he could be said to be passive and weak. Hmm, I suppose Lily could though, and she certainly is martyre-like what with the whole "being the only mother in history who would die for her child"-thing going on. I suppose it could be Ginny, too, though I don't see much martyre in her yet, unless we count the self-sacrificing "I will wait for my love and even help him with his crush"-thingie... Hm, maybe she IS my shadow, after all... ;-)