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I've been thinking about this post by ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
petitesoeur since I read it and we started chatting about it and got to talking about online personalities.
Some people feel like nothing online is "real" because you're not there in person. In a way I can see the point; it's always been a rather weird disconnect when I've met a person in person that I know online. But also I've yet to be disappointed. Granted I've only met 4 people (I think) but the one that probably had the clearest online personality for me pre-meeting (bubbela from atxfa) totally reflected her personality online. The others pretty much did too. But what would I think if I met someone who physically just did not match their voice on the net, particularly if I hated them in person?
The weird thing is that in some ways I feel like I'm more real on the net. I'm talking about things I care about, even if they're silly. I usually end up circling everything back to some kind of ethics dispute. I get to obsess about my issues and characters in ways I never do IRL. Also--and I thinkvanityfair talked about this in her review of Matrix Reloaded--I really do sometimes feel like even internet names are more "real" than people's RL names. Except when they're not, in which case the person is always known by their real name anyway. Like, it's really Aja who did the Matrix Reloaded review, see?
I can't figure out if my personality is really different online. I don't think I talk as much in real life (at least not in long essays at a time to other people!) and I think I make more of an impression online than in real life because of it. I rarely if ever find people who don't like me IRL, not because I'm so damn likeable but because I'm just less noticeable and less confrontational until somebody gets to know me (and even then I'm not very confrontational on or off the 'net). A friend of mine once said I seemed like I wasn't judgemental but I really was and I was briefly worried she was saying I was, you know, very judgemental. But when I asked her she said no, she just meant that I could usually listen to somebody open-mindedly and not react like I was judging them even though I privately had some definite ideas about what they were saying or doing. On the 'net I'm more likely to give those private opinions to more people.
The last entry in The Diary of Anne Frank she wonders about whether anyone will ever know the "quiet Anne" beneath the "frolicsome little goat that's broken loose." Of course thanks to the Diary the quiet Anne who thinks paper is more patient than people is the one who survived. We get reflections of the lighthearted Anne when she tells us how she interacts with others and how they react to her. Are we the ones who ended up knowing the real Anne or did her family? Did we both? Did neither of us? A diary definitely demands a different voice...I'm still struggling with what voice to use in this lj, in fact. I'm fine if I'm writing about a subject but if I'm relating something in life I still feel a bit like...what the hell am I saying? I'm better when I'm responding to someone else--no problem finding a voice then. Sometimes I feel like different enteries would sound more natural in another person's style but then I'd be imitating the other person's style. Hopefully this will all click sometime soon and this thing will get way more interesting!
Maybe this isn't a direct parallel for the Internet for a lot of people. Some people, I know, like the 'net because they can do things they wouldn't have the guts to do in person, they like to play with people, they make up different personas. But I don't think I meet to many of them since I usually get into areas of fandoms where you just can't fake that level of interest. I don't really like places where people just sort of re-create smalltalk and exchange personal details. But even in the heavily-obsessed places personalities come through, friends get made, cliques appear, huge fights happen. Sometimes I think personalities clash more easily on the 'net because the way people communicate becomes that much more clear.
I'm not sure I had an actual point here. Just throwing out thoughts I guess.
petitesoeur since I read it and we started chatting about it and got to talking about online personalities.Some people feel like nothing online is "real" because you're not there in person. In a way I can see the point; it's always been a rather weird disconnect when I've met a person in person that I know online. But also I've yet to be disappointed. Granted I've only met 4 people (I think) but the one that probably had the clearest online personality for me pre-meeting (bubbela from atxfa) totally reflected her personality online. The others pretty much did too. But what would I think if I met someone who physically just did not match their voice on the net, particularly if I hated them in person?
The weird thing is that in some ways I feel like I'm more real on the net. I'm talking about things I care about, even if they're silly. I usually end up circling everything back to some kind of ethics dispute. I get to obsess about my issues and characters in ways I never do IRL. Also--and I think
vanityfair talked about this in her review of Matrix Reloaded--I really do sometimes feel like even internet names are more "real" than people's RL names. Except when they're not, in which case the person is always known by their real name anyway. Like, it's really Aja who did the Matrix Reloaded review, see? I can't figure out if my personality is really different online. I don't think I talk as much in real life (at least not in long essays at a time to other people!) and I think I make more of an impression online than in real life because of it. I rarely if ever find people who don't like me IRL, not because I'm so damn likeable but because I'm just less noticeable and less confrontational until somebody gets to know me (and even then I'm not very confrontational on or off the 'net). A friend of mine once said I seemed like I wasn't judgemental but I really was and I was briefly worried she was saying I was, you know, very judgemental. But when I asked her she said no, she just meant that I could usually listen to somebody open-mindedly and not react like I was judging them even though I privately had some definite ideas about what they were saying or doing. On the 'net I'm more likely to give those private opinions to more people.
The last entry in The Diary of Anne Frank she wonders about whether anyone will ever know the "quiet Anne" beneath the "frolicsome little goat that's broken loose." Of course thanks to the Diary the quiet Anne who thinks paper is more patient than people is the one who survived. We get reflections of the lighthearted Anne when she tells us how she interacts with others and how they react to her. Are we the ones who ended up knowing the real Anne or did her family? Did we both? Did neither of us? A diary definitely demands a different voice...I'm still struggling with what voice to use in this lj, in fact. I'm fine if I'm writing about a subject but if I'm relating something in life I still feel a bit like...what the hell am I saying? I'm better when I'm responding to someone else--no problem finding a voice then. Sometimes I feel like different enteries would sound more natural in another person's style but then I'd be imitating the other person's style. Hopefully this will all click sometime soon and this thing will get way more interesting!
Maybe this isn't a direct parallel for the Internet for a lot of people. Some people, I know, like the 'net because they can do things they wouldn't have the guts to do in person, they like to play with people, they make up different personas. But I don't think I meet to many of them since I usually get into areas of fandoms where you just can't fake that level of interest. I don't really like places where people just sort of re-create smalltalk and exchange personal details. But even in the heavily-obsessed places personalities come through, friends get made, cliques appear, huge fights happen. Sometimes I think personalities clash more easily on the 'net because the way people communicate becomes that much more clear.
I'm not sure I had an actual point here. Just throwing out thoughts I guess.
