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I was just on a board where I came across a thread that I've seen many times before and it always ends up the same way. Somebody posts about how society and the media puts awful demands on women to be thin and what is wrong with being curvy or heavier or larger. I totally agree. Women come in all shapes and sizes, to pick one and claim it's the one that's beautiful is ridiculous. I certainly don't think men are attracted to a body type because it's in style. I'd bet most men go for the woman with boobs over the woman who comes in under a certain weight.
But then, just on schedule, four posts into the discussion, comes the woman who says things like this:
"[My friend and I] have found both of us being curvy, not fat but average with round tops and bottoms, but curvey women that we both get hit on a lot more than the string beans.. The research done on this states that the most long lasting beauties in the world had curves not twigs... .They say one thing and force women to have 12 year old boy butts and no boobs what so ever and call it beauty, I say they must be just out looking for other men because thats what they have reduced women to looking like, skinny little boney man looking women...but hey what ever floats their boats..."
Well, that's very empowering I'm sure but those twigs you just described? The string beans? With 12-year-old boy butts and no boobs? The skinny little boney man-looking women? That's me, fuck you very much.
Ironically she later says that women are the ones who make other women feel like they have to look a certain way. Um, yeah. Did you read your rant? Could you be any more catty? How would you react to the same stuff in reverse? I started to write it out replacing words like "string bean" and "twig" etc. with "fat" words but you know? Who needs to write that down even to prove a point? It's mean even when you're kidding. And oddly, it actually doesn't make me feel better about myself.
And women wonder why they constantly make themselves miserable. I just don't get this. Honestly, I have met women of many shapes and sizes I thought were beautiful. Not because I'm this fabulous person who only looks at inner beauty, I'm probably as shallow as the next person. It's just that yes, I really can recognize beauty in someone who weighs more than I do. It's like looking at somebody who can get a suntan, unlike me--it's a different look, that's all. Why choose between body types when you can have them all? Think how boring fashion would be! I just don't obsess about other women's bodies that much--not to the point where I'm always comparing them, at least. There have been times where I look at other women and think, "Hmmm, so those are breasts. That's what they look like." And sometimes I think, "They look nice." But I don't resent the other woman for having them or need to cut her down and promote my own body as the better beauty standard. That's hardly going to make me feel better.
Now, I can understand that if you feel like the media and everyone has been shoving this one look at you and you can't match it no matter what you do then yes, you might be more reactionary. But it's just plain STRANGE how many times I've had women rant to me about this. Complete strangers tell me I must be anorexic or eat like a pig and have a freakish metabolism or whatever. One women I'd just met at a wedding said, the first time I opened my mouth, "Shut up, you're skinny." Presumably she was kind of joking but um, it's a little off-putting. Especially when she went on to not allow me to speak. This is not something I deal with on a regular basis, of course. I'm certainly not asking for sympathy for poor me the endomorph. It's not a real problem in my life. But if women really want to break out of this cycle? They're just going to have to find beauty in their own bodies and to hell what anyone else says. Announcing the ugliness of mine is not going to help. You know what term I really hate? "Real women." "Real women have breasts! Real women have curves! Real women weigh over 120 pounds" or whatever." Well, what am I a cyborg? Get over it: women come in all shapes and sizes. We're all real.
And really, nobody needs to tell me guys like breasts. I fully concede that. You for all those busty women out there, you're fabulous ad georgeous! But I do manage to carry on without much of them. What always surprises me is that often these rants come from women who also love to post about their husband or boyfriend who thinks they're georgeous and with whom they have great sex often. And I'm thinking, Okay, you've got a wonderful husband and you're in love and he tells you you're beautiful all the time. At the moment I have no husband, no boyfriend who loves me. So why are you the one who's so hostile? It's not enough the man you love thinks you're beautiful you still have to tell other women their ugly? Honestly, *this* is the reason women do not have equal rights. They're too busy scratching at each other!
But then, just on schedule, four posts into the discussion, comes the woman who says things like this:
"[My friend and I] have found both of us being curvy, not fat but average with round tops and bottoms, but curvey women that we both get hit on a lot more than the string beans.. The research done on this states that the most long lasting beauties in the world had curves not twigs... .They say one thing and force women to have 12 year old boy butts and no boobs what so ever and call it beauty, I say they must be just out looking for other men because thats what they have reduced women to looking like, skinny little boney man looking women...but hey what ever floats their boats..."
Well, that's very empowering I'm sure but those twigs you just described? The string beans? With 12-year-old boy butts and no boobs? The skinny little boney man-looking women? That's me, fuck you very much.
Ironically she later says that women are the ones who make other women feel like they have to look a certain way. Um, yeah. Did you read your rant? Could you be any more catty? How would you react to the same stuff in reverse? I started to write it out replacing words like "string bean" and "twig" etc. with "fat" words but you know? Who needs to write that down even to prove a point? It's mean even when you're kidding. And oddly, it actually doesn't make me feel better about myself.
And women wonder why they constantly make themselves miserable. I just don't get this. Honestly, I have met women of many shapes and sizes I thought were beautiful. Not because I'm this fabulous person who only looks at inner beauty, I'm probably as shallow as the next person. It's just that yes, I really can recognize beauty in someone who weighs more than I do. It's like looking at somebody who can get a suntan, unlike me--it's a different look, that's all. Why choose between body types when you can have them all? Think how boring fashion would be! I just don't obsess about other women's bodies that much--not to the point where I'm always comparing them, at least. There have been times where I look at other women and think, "Hmmm, so those are breasts. That's what they look like." And sometimes I think, "They look nice." But I don't resent the other woman for having them or need to cut her down and promote my own body as the better beauty standard. That's hardly going to make me feel better.
Now, I can understand that if you feel like the media and everyone has been shoving this one look at you and you can't match it no matter what you do then yes, you might be more reactionary. But it's just plain STRANGE how many times I've had women rant to me about this. Complete strangers tell me I must be anorexic or eat like a pig and have a freakish metabolism or whatever. One women I'd just met at a wedding said, the first time I opened my mouth, "Shut up, you're skinny." Presumably she was kind of joking but um, it's a little off-putting. Especially when she went on to not allow me to speak. This is not something I deal with on a regular basis, of course. I'm certainly not asking for sympathy for poor me the endomorph. It's not a real problem in my life. But if women really want to break out of this cycle? They're just going to have to find beauty in their own bodies and to hell what anyone else says. Announcing the ugliness of mine is not going to help. You know what term I really hate? "Real women." "Real women have breasts! Real women have curves! Real women weigh over 120 pounds" or whatever." Well, what am I a cyborg? Get over it: women come in all shapes and sizes. We're all real.
And really, nobody needs to tell me guys like breasts. I fully concede that. You for all those busty women out there, you're fabulous ad georgeous! But I do manage to carry on without much of them. What always surprises me is that often these rants come from women who also love to post about their husband or boyfriend who thinks they're georgeous and with whom they have great sex often. And I'm thinking, Okay, you've got a wonderful husband and you're in love and he tells you you're beautiful all the time. At the moment I have no husband, no boyfriend who loves me. So why are you the one who's so hostile? It's not enough the man you love thinks you're beautiful you still have to tell other women their ugly? Honestly, *this* is the reason women do not have equal rights. They're too busy scratching at each other!
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:D :D go you.
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I have always thought this! We women are our own worst enemies sometimes. Living in Boston, you see all shapes and sizes of women from all over the world - tiny, skinny Vietnamese, huge Nigerians, rotund Haitians, voluptuous Hispanics, short and compact Koreans, tall and elegant Europeans and everything in between.
Me? I'm a mongrel - got my Dad's English/Scottish round face and chin and my mother's Italian hair and skin...and my grandmother's Hungarian ass and boobs. We are what we are!
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Women...? - Don't like them.
amen! as long as they don't stop hacking at each other like hens in the courtyard there WON'T be such a thing as equal rights. and this attitude is exactly the reason why i'd prefer to be a man.
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Re: Women...? - Don't like them.
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Re: Women...? - Don't like them.
though this thing with having to shave is a severe down on all the good things. can you imagine having hair growing IN your face??? ICK!!!
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Re: Women...? - Don't like them.
Oh kete, btw, could you give me a link to the next part of Serenade? I went to the place where I was reading it before and it wasn't updated there yet. I keep forgetting to ask when I'm at home and I want to read it!:-)
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Re: Women...? - Don't like them.
the last part is under - part 3 - where you've read before. i'm afraid i forgot to change the date of the post. and i didn't make a new post for the ending, but pasted it unto the part of - part 3 - which you have read already. so you have to scroll down a bit to find it. sorry for this, but i didn't want to have it split in so many parts, that's why. it's finished now. looking very much forward to your (honest) opinion.
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It starts so young, though, magpie. I find I can say that now, more or less (from the opposing body-shape to yours point of view). But at my (all girls) school it was misery if you were not absolutely 'normal', (whatever that was). And that kind of outlook is hard to leave behind even when you grow up.
And things don't seem to change. My niece is a beautiful looking girl (as well as a beautiful girl). Sadly, when she was at school the taunts of some of the more moronic of her class mates about her weight pushed her into a spiral of eating disorders, depression and so on. It has taken years to undo the damage done by such thoughtless comments. Nowhere, it seems, is there much focus on teaching kids to value - even enjoy - the differences in people. Lesson 1, what you look like is not really the most important thing about you. Lesson 2, often there are things about yourself you just can't change, they are programmed in. I could go on...
I agree it is a peculiarly female thing to do, to try and 'win' using arguments which put down your own kind. It's a bizarre kind of tactic, or a form of self-reassurance, I'm not sure which.
Jewel, I too can point to various bits of me and name which relative I inherited it/them from. I am a little sad that my brothers all inherited the tall-and-thin gene, and I got the short-and-round ones, though. But that is largely what it is - genetic makeup, and no more.
(Big response, sorry magpie, I got carried away.)
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You're doing this for a cause, have a heart!
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*pokes hobobaggins* You're not dead are you??!
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Download AIM. We have the good dizzying NA chats when things go down, we want you there you NrAged BNF you.
I'm H0b4gg1n5, Nancy is Nancyrose11, theantimodel is theantimodel2, notapipe is FightsLikeACow, Eponis is Sinopeq, Peccavium is peccavium, and there's generally some combination of us chatting about NA or just being utter idiots
#fangirls your posts#
DOWNLOAD IT. OR PERISH.
<3333333333333333
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I have MSN messenger--will that work?
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DOWNLOAD AIM... do it... it will be worth it, we are most amusing, I promise
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Hee! I'm an Nrager BNF! Go me!
Oh, my name there is sistermarymagpie.:-)
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#fangirls#
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You know what term I really hate? "Real women." "Real women have breasts! Real women have curves! Real women weigh over 120 pounds" or whatever."
It's not only the breasts. "Real" women are good housewives and mothers. A lone father is allowed to have disorder in his house, but a lone mother not. If a man chooses to go working two days after his child is born, then he's a good father. If a woman does the same, then she's a bad mother.
Honestly, *this* is the reason women do not have equal rights. They're too busy scratching at each other!
Word.
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<<One women I'd just met at a wedding said, the first time I opened my mouth, "Shut up, you're skinny.">>
I've never understood this. I don't get it when fat women insist on shunning skinny women and vice versa, simply from spite. It's weird. I mean, I have friends who are fat, skinny, and everything in between. I like all of them and their sizes have nothing to do with it. I am neither a "twig" nor am I "fat," but they still love me (at least I hope they do).
I mean, I've met skinny girls who simply would not hang around with people much larger than them, and I(and most others) considered this to be snotty and bitchy and very rude. So why is it supposed to be okay for fat girls to do the same? And I understand that most guys like skinny chicks with boobs and that most of them wouldn't look twice at someone like me, but if they decide to do that, as a boyfriend they're not worth shit anyway.
Nope, I don't like that at all. It's discrimination pure and simple, and I for one prefer to hate people for who they are, not what they look like. :D
Now I am pissed off. Thank you! *hugs*
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It's so silly, isn't it? What's so silly too is that bodies change so you might be yelling at somebody for being "born skinny" when they just worked really hard to lose 200 pounds, or somebody accused of being "fat and lazy" might have just put on a little weight from a medication they're on or something. Why this would make a difference to somebody who's just talking to or friends with someone is beyond me!