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HAPPY CANADA DAY!!
I'm going to try to do a last post about N_A. But it's kind of hard.
There have been a few endings of stories that have made me cry...not just cry and then go on but stick inside me like a grief and this is one of them. I think it's partially because the ending's so perfect...it reminds me of LOTR in a strange way, because Tolkien said how that was about "death and deathlessness" and that's ultimately what it seems like N_A was about. It was so screamingly funny (I was just going through the glossary and laughing all over again) but there was death in this world--real death. And I feel like that's what the ending's about, that those who are still alive are going on in spite of it.
It's weird because I remember graduating from high school and college myself and it wasn't this sad. It was sad because that period of my life was ending, but it was exciting too. And it's exciting for the characters just as it should be-nobody knows what's going to happen to them--it's the beginning, really. For![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
just_harry and potterstinks especially, because they just now have a chance to really figure out who they are now that Voldemort and Lucius are dead. So really the ending is happy, because of course all the boys are going to get together soon to paint Remus' flat and the girls are going to buy stuff for their flat and the Hufflepuffs are going to go to Chinatown. And ps "isn't going anywhere." He and Harry just need some time to be with their families, and then they'll start to make plans for themselves as well. Together in whatever stage they're ready for. (I love the way having destroyed Voldemort left Harry feeling so insecure--will he just be abandoned now that he's just Harry? And there's ps who's finally not afraid to reassure him.)
But I'm not part of this chapter of their lives, so all the excitement for that is sort of sad for me too. Sort of like being left behind. And I still can't stop thinking of everyone who died, too. Pansy's not going to get any older and neither is Lisa. I know all the characters are going to remember them...I think there's a different way of living up to the memory of a parent like Remus or Lucius and a friend like Pansy or Lisa. And Sirius and Narcissa are widowed, which is a third thing. And then there's the Weasleys showing how family can be strong enough to weather death. And good old Snape will be snarky as ever...but different because they're not in school anymore. And I'm still worried about poor Colin, psycho that he is.:-)
Anyway, somehow this ending taps into exactly the same things LOTR's ending does for me. Death and deathlessness.
And that didn't happen by accident. I'm so impressed by all the discipline and care that went into all these players. I've never played in an rpg, but it must be very hard to keep things from spinning out of control. It seems like the people in this one must have been really committed to wind up with something so coherent. Looking back over the year, for instance, there are just these clear themes running throughout... Also it must have been so hard sometimes for players to not tweak the game in their favor, for instance, to make Ron and Draco a little more sensitive at times so they'd come off better. But not letting any character be more than the sum of their flaws made all the difference. Little thematic touches like the Slytherins' sleep theme finally working up to Draco going into the Great Hall to find the sun already risen because it's been rising earlier and earlier. Or Pansy's and Lisa's posts, which make it seem almost like they knew somehow-Lisa not seeing herself in the future and Pansy almost seeming to have this impulse to talk to her friends because they wouldn't have her much longer. And of course the growing challenges between Lucius and Remus. And Lucius' quotes about doomed brides and assassins. And Parvati and Lavender's final development, where Parvati sees Lavender protecting the third years. And everybody, really. I don't want to rule anyone out because everyone was perfect.
I was reading this book on Psycho recently that talked about how it used to be considered a given that people watched suspense movies for the suspense. There was no reason to see one twice because you knew what would happen. The same is true for most serial TV shows--it's why soaps don't do well in reruns. But with something like Psycho knowing the ending just deepens the meaning upon re-watching. I feel like it's the same thing here...that the whole game is about getting the characters to that ending. Particularly the kids, who pretty much decided who and what kind of people they were going to be over the past couple of years and all of them decided to be exceptional.
It's weird, isn't it, that the fact that everybody decided to care about each other is so much more important than Voldemort getting killed?
And finally, because everybody knows how I focus on Draco in all his incarnations, what can I say? How can people not see the importance of this character in canon withpotterstinks there to show us the potential? And proving so beautifully how Harry was wrong about one thing at least, that he didn't have any friends, just because they weren't the kind of friends he had. The Unholy Trinity forever!!!!
I read somewhere that when you cry you release chemicals that cause stress and things like that. So I'm really hoping that after all this crying I'm going to feel lighter so I can start something new too. That's the best thing fiction can achieve, isn't it? To give you something to take away and apply in your life? I don't know if that was N_A's intention, but they did it.
I'm going to try to do a last post about N_A. But it's kind of hard.
There have been a few endings of stories that have made me cry...not just cry and then go on but stick inside me like a grief and this is one of them. I think it's partially because the ending's so perfect...it reminds me of LOTR in a strange way, because Tolkien said how that was about "death and deathlessness" and that's ultimately what it seems like N_A was about. It was so screamingly funny (I was just going through the glossary and laughing all over again) but there was death in this world--real death. And I feel like that's what the ending's about, that those who are still alive are going on in spite of it.
It's weird because I remember graduating from high school and college myself and it wasn't this sad. It was sad because that period of my life was ending, but it was exciting too. And it's exciting for the characters just as it should be-nobody knows what's going to happen to them--it's the beginning, really. For
just_harry and potterstinks especially, because they just now have a chance to really figure out who they are now that Voldemort and Lucius are dead. So really the ending is happy, because of course all the boys are going to get together soon to paint Remus' flat and the girls are going to buy stuff for their flat and the Hufflepuffs are going to go to Chinatown. And ps "isn't going anywhere." He and Harry just need some time to be with their families, and then they'll start to make plans for themselves as well. Together in whatever stage they're ready for. (I love the way having destroyed Voldemort left Harry feeling so insecure--will he just be abandoned now that he's just Harry? And there's ps who's finally not afraid to reassure him.)But I'm not part of this chapter of their lives, so all the excitement for that is sort of sad for me too. Sort of like being left behind. And I still can't stop thinking of everyone who died, too. Pansy's not going to get any older and neither is Lisa. I know all the characters are going to remember them...I think there's a different way of living up to the memory of a parent like Remus or Lucius and a friend like Pansy or Lisa. And Sirius and Narcissa are widowed, which is a third thing. And then there's the Weasleys showing how family can be strong enough to weather death. And good old Snape will be snarky as ever...but different because they're not in school anymore. And I'm still worried about poor Colin, psycho that he is.:-)
Anyway, somehow this ending taps into exactly the same things LOTR's ending does for me. Death and deathlessness.
And that didn't happen by accident. I'm so impressed by all the discipline and care that went into all these players. I've never played in an rpg, but it must be very hard to keep things from spinning out of control. It seems like the people in this one must have been really committed to wind up with something so coherent. Looking back over the year, for instance, there are just these clear themes running throughout... Also it must have been so hard sometimes for players to not tweak the game in their favor, for instance, to make Ron and Draco a little more sensitive at times so they'd come off better. But not letting any character be more than the sum of their flaws made all the difference. Little thematic touches like the Slytherins' sleep theme finally working up to Draco going into the Great Hall to find the sun already risen because it's been rising earlier and earlier. Or Pansy's and Lisa's posts, which make it seem almost like they knew somehow-Lisa not seeing herself in the future and Pansy almost seeming to have this impulse to talk to her friends because they wouldn't have her much longer. And of course the growing challenges between Lucius and Remus. And Lucius' quotes about doomed brides and assassins. And Parvati and Lavender's final development, where Parvati sees Lavender protecting the third years. And everybody, really. I don't want to rule anyone out because everyone was perfect.
I was reading this book on Psycho recently that talked about how it used to be considered a given that people watched suspense movies for the suspense. There was no reason to see one twice because you knew what would happen. The same is true for most serial TV shows--it's why soaps don't do well in reruns. But with something like Psycho knowing the ending just deepens the meaning upon re-watching. I feel like it's the same thing here...that the whole game is about getting the characters to that ending. Particularly the kids, who pretty much decided who and what kind of people they were going to be over the past couple of years and all of them decided to be exceptional.
It's weird, isn't it, that the fact that everybody decided to care about each other is so much more important than Voldemort getting killed?
And finally, because everybody knows how I focus on Draco in all his incarnations, what can I say? How can people not see the importance of this character in canon with
potterstinks there to show us the potential? And proving so beautifully how Harry was wrong about one thing at least, that he didn't have any friends, just because they weren't the kind of friends he had. The Unholy Trinity forever!!!!I read somewhere that when you cry you release chemicals that cause stress and things like that. So I'm really hoping that after all this crying I'm going to feel lighter so I can start something new too. That's the best thing fiction can achieve, isn't it? To give you something to take away and apply in your life? I don't know if that was N_A's intention, but they did it.
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I read somewhere that when you cry you release chemicals that cause stress and things like that. So I'm really hoping that after all this crying I'm going to feel lighter so I can start something new too. That's the best thing fiction can achieve, isn't it? To give you something to take away and apply in your life? I don't know if that was N_A's intention, but they did it.
And now I am all teary-eyed, because YES. This is exactly what NA was to me. I got so, so much out of following this RPG. And I'm glad I'm not the only one it had that effect on.
Good thing I go to lunch soon, so I can take a minute to compose myself.
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I think this describes everything I'm feeling right now: But I'm not part of this chapter of their lives, so all the excitement for that is sort of sad for me too. Sort of like being left behind.
It's very, very bitter-sweet. And I must say, I've seldom read anything which left me longing so badly for a sequel and yet... hoping (and knowing) that the door really has closed for good. It's almost a mixture of wanting MORE and wanting this beautiful ending to stay the way it is. Because it's so beautiful.
-+- Juwely.
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I'm going to start crying again if I go into this much, but you've said everything that I wanted to say that I couldn't in my post about N_A, and I just wanted to let you know that.
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:-)
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Word.
*sniffs*
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I think they're finally ready to admit that they can be together, in whatever stage. I have a whole scenario in my head about them sitting somewhere on a park bench, just talking, for hours. I think they're going to have a lot of talking to do.
*smiles* They're still very much right here, all of them.
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I am the world's worst lurker, but I have friended you because I loved reading your posts on
You and blackdog enhanced my reading and enjoyment of the Alley so much, and I wanted to say it here, finally.
Thank you.
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thank you
As you know, I have only been following N_A for the past 8 or 9 months. And most of my reading of it has had to be in solid blocks every couple of days. But not yesterday. I had a spare couple of minutes at around about 10:30, so I peeked in and saw all the posts up to potterstinks’ (wonderful) I AM STILL BETTER THAN YOU.
When I’d read the all the comments on that to that point, and went back to the main page I saw McGonagall’s post, and realised that the end was only a matter of a couple of hours away. So, as many others did, I watched, and I waited.
Needless to say I didn’t do much work yesterday. But I did do a lot of exploring – rereading, remembering, and finding a lot of answers to things I didn’t understand up to then. (Although I never found the thread where jh said something and p_s put his foot in the fire.)
I was thinking, how sad. Whenever they think back on school, and the leaving of it, it will always be overlaid with memories of loss and grief. Yes, the positive is there – the new beginnings, world at your feet, transition to adulthood, etc etc, but their rite of passage was marked by way more than a formal dance or exchange of addresses. I find this sad because I’d equate this to how real people would feel. Because they feel like very real people to me.
But at the same time it is a very, very clever way of creating a situation for character growth, and resolution. So you can see how the future for these characters might be. And it’s not such a bad future, is it.
I’d add, the players are masters at writing the small phrase or sentence which has maximum impact, and which will stay in my mind forever: Lupin’s “It’s time for me to go out and find the day…” Harry’s anguished “THEY ALWAYS DO, THOUGH”, Malfoy’s “See you then, Unscarhead’ and Snapes “For the first time, we agree on something. Goodbye, Mr. Potter.”
So, in conclusion: *wah*
(and yes, Voldemort being killed is almost an afterthought…)
And one more thing – I wanted to say how much I have enjoyed reading the posts on Nraged. They have given me a lot of pleasure, and also prodded me into really thinking about a lot of issues to do with narrative, character development, etc etc. I'm going to miss this as much as I will miss N_A itself. Thank you!
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Re: thank you
But at the same time it is a very, very clever way of creating a situation for character growth, and resolution. So you can see how the future for these characters might be. And it’s not such a bad future, is it.
Absolutely. As I said on Nraged the other day, I just feel so glad to have gotten a glimpse of the man potterstinks is going to become--which is pretty interesting considering at the moment Harry needs to find/re-orient himself, which is a nice temporary switch of their dynamic. You can sort of see how now it won't always have to be about Harry being reassuring, that they'll be more able to help each other now. It's just amazing how every single character in the game managed to end up as a strong person who will make a very good friend.
Though I have to say, it's weird how stuck I am on Pansy dying. I guess I keep feeling like ps/MB have grown now and can't they have Pansy back as a reward? Does she really never get a chance to interact with everyone? It's strange because often dramatic deaths can be very cathartic, but this one just seems more like real death. It just sucks. It would be better if she was alive, even if her death was completely right within the game.
I'm loving reading everyone's Nraged posts as well.:-)
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fangirlingfollowing your Nraged posts for a long time now, and that I'm very glad you were part of my NA experience. Thank you for those, and for this post, and I hope you don't mind if I add it to my memories....and I found this ending reminiscent of RotK too. So much death and pain, and so much that has ended and will never be the same again, yet in spite of it all, in spite of the scars, life goes on. There can still be laughter and fleeting moments of happiness. And the seemingly simple things remain so very important.
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And please add away to memories. I added the thread at Nraged to mine for that reason. And just finished re-reading your own post becuase I love it.
*fangirls you back!!*