The Truth Hurts

[sistermagpie]

roxannelinton made the mistake of pointing me to an Elkins essay on HP4GU. Naturally this got me stuck reading other essays because they were all so good. One in particular was close to my heart, about *why* exactly we like the characters that we do, and it brought up the fact that we usually naturally associate fictional types with people we know in real life, and our reactions to the RL people naturally influence that. I was going to think about the characters I like and think about who they remind me of (Snape totally reminds me of the teachers in school that were feared and hated but *I* always wound up getting along with and liking a great deal), but in the course of thinking about this I wound up having a big personal revelation about Draco and me. It's long because it's about ME ME ME.



Elkins essay was in response to the twins, whom she considers bullies and doesn't like. But she made the important distinction that the fact that they were bullies wasn't why she disliked them, and she did not think other people should dislike them because she did. She disliked them because they reminded her of certain types she knew in real life growing up and because in the books they were often associated with comeuppance humor, which she despised. Plus they had nothing in common and she suspected they wouldn't like her. I would have avoided them in school. Draco I would keep at a safe distance. He's also a bully, but a different kind.

Obviously there are lots of Draco-lovers or at least people who can stand Draco amongst you all. It seems like when we're asked why we like the boy, the most common answer is, “He often says what I'm thinking.” I tend to also think of it as his stating the obvious and absurd. I believe, in fact, that JKR once described Draco as being such a bad bully because he was the "smart" kind who found weak spots to hurt people with. Weak spots=personal truths.

Now, obviously it's not as simple as saying this character speaks truth and others don't. It's also not-because I think this is what a lot of people think of when you describe a bully as truthful-about the kind of person who insults other people and claim they're being “honest.” Draco actually isn't that type. What I do mean is that Draco tends to speak a certain kind of truth in a certain way in certain situations, different ones than the main characters. Every character is going to have certain times when the truth is important and other times when they lie, just like any person. Draco just happens to always be a certain kind of voice. He says things that are usually considered bad to say-a certain kind of bad. Only some of us like exactly that kind of thing, particularly if we can't identify with the mainstream attitude that well.

This is where I think I really do identify with Draco and it has often gotten me in trouble. Like, I have this idea of myself as completely un-intimidating. So I've been surprised the few times I've been told I was harsh--well, actually, the word people always use is not harsh but "scary," and occasionally "evil," usually for saying something a little too true. Did I say something intentionally hurtful? In one case I suspect I did. It was to these two guys I went to high school with and there were times they made me angry because they were pretty insensitive and I suspect in joking around I did slip in things to cut them down to size. Imagine my surprise when by chance I found out they noticed and did get cut down!

More often, though, it's not that I've said something mean intentionally but I'll say something I think is just obvious, something I thought was perfectly fine because I can't see any reason for anyone to be sensitive about it, and be met with shocked stares. Or perhaps I did know it was sort of sensitive but still thought it should be said. Like, if I were friends with Draco Malfoy I would know if he was strutting around saying he was going to win the next Quidditch match and Potter wouldn't know what hit him, I would know not to say, "Yeah, it's not like he's humiliated you ever year since you were twelve." Because obviously I could see there was a personal reason he would need to not have that contradicted---Harry has no such excuses about Hagrid. He does have reason to be sensitive about his wanting the Weasleys as a surrogate family.

Here's the two examples I can think of from my own life. I hope they're not too tedious, but they're the ones that sprang to mind. The first was when I was in college and in an a Capella group. We'd lost a few people so we had a number of songs that needed new soloists and were having auditions at rehearsal. This one girl who was sort of a BNF (without the F) of the group and already had a few solos. She tried out for all four new ones. The first three all went to other people, because they happened to be more suited to them. The fourth number she was best for. So when we're discussing who we're going to give it to everybody was just all, "Ooh, I think X was great." "Yes, me too, her voice quality is perfect for this..." and it was just too ridiculous. So I laughed and commented how we were all relieved because it was we'd all been totally uncomfortable rejecting her. I mean, we all knew what she was like, and nobody wants to reject somebody four times in a row. Of course we were relieved! But from the way people stared at me you'd think I'd made a racial slur.

The other time was when I ran into this girl I knew in junior high. We were now in college and we met on a train. She was talking about her youngest sister, who was now 12, and saying how her sister had far more freedom than she did at that age. "She's allowed to DATE!” she said. “I was never allowed to date in seventh grade!" Like this was ever an issue for her-nobody wanted to date her in seventh grade. I made the mistake of saying as much and really pissed her off! Apparently I didn't get the memo with our revised seventh grade history where this girl's biggest stress in seventh grade came from her lame mom cramping her sex life instead of being picked on by girls and having no interaction with boys whatsoever. I wasn't trying to insult her; I thought we could share a laugh at being losers when we were 12. Of course, I should have remembered she was like this at 12 too.

Anyway, you can see the pattern. I just can't help it, though. It's not that I can't lie, it's just there are certain things where I feel like you should be able to tell it like it is. In fact, I was recently reading a great Agatha Christie where at the end (no spoilers) Poirot says that he expects the victim's 12-year-old son to come to him in a few years and ask for the details of his parent's murder. A character says, "You won't tell him, will you?" He says of course he will. This boy, like him, prizes truth above all else. Truth, even if it's bad, can be understood and put into the pattern. To her, the most important thing is that people not be hurt. To him the most important thing is knowing how things really are/really happened/really work. I hated the woman character in that moment, and I knew why the little boy was my favorite character.

And I think that's another reason I sort of lean toward this character. As Elkins said, we usually like people first because of their humor or personality and then we figure out their morals. It should be no surprise Draco cracks me up from his first scene-the one where most people and the hero decide he's Awful, and for exactly the same reasons. I think he had me at, “Exactly.” Or perhaps where, strangely honest as always, he introduces himself as a spoiled brat. Like I said, it's not a question of “this is me” or “he is just speaking truth.” It's just honestly I think either you respond really positively to, “Who wouldn't want a pet that stings, burns and bites?” or you don't. Perhaps instead you respond better to ton tongue toffee. It's a personal thing. I like "exactly." I have a fondness, especially, for people who are unwittingly rude because they're just clueless, particularly when I think the other person is over-serious or over-sensitive. In fact, reenka and I were talking about the appeal of the H/D with a certain kind of Fanon!Draco and I think this might be it--putting in a character that can do this and have it get the reaction they want. That's why when Fanon!Draco says the kinds of things that fill Canon!Harry with disgust, Fanon!Harry instead realizes he's kidding and is able to see the truth within and not see it as threatening.

ETA: Here's the original essay. It's a great read, and may make this more coherent. She actually lays it out much better than I do here, as I seem to have sometimes put across the exact opposite idea than I intended in this post! The point is, there are reasons we just plain like characters, and that probably often leads us to cut them slack where we might not with others. I know very well that I *like* this character, and am wondering maybe why. It's not a defense of why this character is likable or should be liked by others.

Comments

[yourpoison.livejournal.com]

Hehe man, what was my point again?? ^^;;;
I just enjoy listening to you talk and go, 'okay, what was my problem?' It's so soothing >:D I think I was trying to see the similarity between your example & Draco's and at first it was difficult 'cause I see Draco as being either intentionally mean in his needling or obliviously just saying what he thinks (rather than--uh-- usually seeing it as necessary needling). I think that's what I was missing from how I saw him-- it's the extent of identification that'd label what he does as useful. I was trying to say (in my quest to get more, more, more out of poor Draco) that he doesn't go far enough, I guess? In his sort of limited (petty...?) scope, though if you look at it in a certain way, that scope is exactly what's missing. Whew.

It's an odd pov for me because I tend to go for the drama-- if you're going to do it (be a huge nuisance), do it spectacular. You're right in that Harry (and the good-two-shoes crew in general), especially in OoTP, needed to... uh, take a step back... though I was identifying with Harry so much it's difficult for me to look at him from the outside long enough to find him annoying in his over-drama-queenness. :> Ron does that too, doesn't he... point out silly/banal/funny things Hermione often doesn't want to hear, but Harry thinks it's funny because Ron's his -friend-. So yeah, it'd definitely be different (more fun) to have Draco as a friend (though the urge to thwap him repeatedly would quickly overcome me.) He's so... cute (as I keep saying, ahahah). Like, yeah, fake-Dementor!cute (...and now cut to yohgurt commercial o_0)

With the Hagrid thing... I dunno if I was trying to zero in on the minority thing so much as the whole... er... I'm just trying to say that the kids saw something in Hagrid that Draco didn't. Like... it's that whole thing where you look at someone and see things that speak to you & maybe the other people won't get it but it's perfectly real where you're standing. Not that I personally see it (in Hagrid) but I know the feeling of... just seeing things shinier than other people do (rose-colored glasses). That's it, though-- it's that they have those glasses, and whether you like Draco trying to knock them off or not probably depends on who you are :>

Like... I suppose it's just that I like Draco without thinking 'he's so useful for showing how silly Harry/Hagrid/Dumbledore is'-- y'know? It's that meta layer...ness on any character has been bothering me lately and I wonder if I ever naturally have that sort of secondary response. It's like, for me, it's always instinctual-- I just like Draco and get annoyed by him sometimes and angry at him other times, but endeared also 'cause he's such a brat. But like, what he's actually saying doesn't really matter so much as the way he says it...? Maybe it's because I don't actually remember the things most people say in general ^^;

Now I'm trying to figure out why I like Draco too, but it's all complicated since for me, fanon came first. And I know I liked my Draco because of his rage-- the way he -wanted- and -persisted- and -needed- and -raged- in my head. I see him best from the inside, if that makes sense. It's weird for me to immediately click with seeing him positively from the outside-- that is, how he interacts with others (whether he's useful or a nice contrast or actually funny or what). In canon... from what I remember... I was like... enjoying him 'cause he's such a colorful presence, so... there, so that you have to notice him whether or not you like it. I dig that. The whole 'truth' thing just adds this meta level of weirdness where I wonder... hmmm, 'truth'...? What truth? Is it important truth? Er? What sort of truth? And then I just confuse myself further :>

[sistermagpie.livejournal.com]

With the Hagrid thing... I dunno if I was trying to zero in on the minority thing so much as the whole... er... I'm just trying to say that the kids saw something in Hagrid that Draco didn't. Like... it's that whole thing where you look at someone and see things that speak to you & maybe the other people won't get it but it's perfectly real where you're standing.

Heh--can't resist this. What they see is perhaps the fact that Hagrid worships them and thinks they're the best students at Hogwarts and loves Dumbledore too. Of course they see stuff that Malfoy the Slytherin with the bad family name who's Harry's enemy so Hagrid hates him too doesn't see. What's kind of funny is that presumably Draco sees things in Snape that Harry doesn't see and vice-versa, yet fandom often rejects this idea for the idea that Draco and Snape see nothing in each other. Only Harry, once he turns his eye to Snape, will see the good in him, at which time Snape will of course return the favor.

Actually, I don't think Draco is good for showing us how lame Hagrd/Dumbledore/Harry is...on the contrary, I think he's better for misdirection. I begin to think his character's all about misdirection, in fact, which is why I like his never taking anything far enough. He's not taking anything far enough because, imo, he's not really going anywhere. Heh--I was about to say he just leads Harry down dead ends and blind alleys and then wanders off somewhere else. Then I remembered the title of HPB chatper 6!

*has only one comment*

[yourpoison.livejournal.com]

...Draco "Cocktease" Malfoy :>